it's is hard to find the relationship u want

I don't understand why there is a need for lots and lots of interaction for a relationship;constant smses and calling...and pull urself out of your other world. There got to be a limit to it!

I know my bf for 2 weeks and i already find it tiring to do tt. It's just tt i dunno why the way he think can be a bit like ..."immature". To him, by always keeping contact is essential...to me, keep contact about impt stuff is more impt than contact abt tweeny-little things.
He expects me to show how much i like him and he wants to be fast-pace. I don't think tt's right...it is like pouring 1 litre of water into 500ml cup. It is killing me slowly.

I think as an adult, it is impt to know tt relationship cannot be rushed. I keep telling him i need time...for many times but it just does not get it to him. And he keeps wanting confirmation...assurance. I am tired...i feel like someone trying to take care of a little bro.

I want to be an independent and better person...but i cannot stand a person who don't know how to think for himself and others.

He wants me to know how much he feels for me...but i don't see it. It is all words...words. Words are easily to create but hard to demostrate.

Anyway, it is not tt i don't like him but it is like he wants me to act like 2 weeks for relationship is almost like a marriage stage. Tt's crazy...

it is so hard to please bth parties in a relationship.

Sunday, April 20

I find that i kind of attracting one type of guys who like to be chicky...and think that i am those Xiao Mei Mei who is good to deceived.

I dun know is it because of my looks or the aura i release lead to this but I HATE SUCH GUYS.
Please don't think i am those girls who will be smitten(i think i spelt this wrongly) by such words for i know tt u are juz using it as a tatics to cheat girls. Arghh!! Go 2 hell

Anyway, today i am going to try to change myself! I realise i have forgotten about the promise i made to myself 3 mths ago on wanting to change myself.

From now on, i need to think carefully...with 3 months, i think tt is absolutely more than enough.

I have to start working soon~ =D

I hope i can get to see him soon...no matter what happen.

so long...yet so short.

I have been workying and idling for about half a year after my A level examinations. Yet, i still feel that the half a year is so short, when i have to go to school the next week.
I am still working because the temp guy who was supposed to cover me, left earlier than me.(idoit M.Y)
My heart soften, when i saw my senior manager cried. There is 3 peopl(includin the senior a.c) in finance section(excluding finance manager). They worked together for 7 years! Wow...1 of them had left, the other went to give birth. Now, my senoir a.c got to handle many things since, me and the new perm staff is still inexperienced.
Haiz...
Anyway, i finally got a wedge shoes! I bought 2 wedges...yes! Now i wanna buy a sandal.(papa promised to buy me one).
Yesterday, papa and i meet up. We studied awhile, and he had to cut his hair. We went to Millennia walk, and i went to candy empire to stock up choz. I have just finished 1st pack of chocz. When the lady helped him to cuy his hair, he realised tt he has quite a nuber of white hair. I had to pluck the white hairs out for him.

I saw one of my ELW friend when i was waiting with papa to cut his hair.
I feel quite tired on monday cause i had too much holidays last week...
I will elaborate on the 'holidays' when i had the time.
bye Bye~Got to prepare to work now.

mmm..happy day for june 15

Yesterday is a day full of joy.

First i got a temp job for 1.3k at my old workplace. Yes!!!!
Second, i got into smu business management. Thank for rehearsing with me Papa Chop.
Third, i got into nus business administration too...
=>
Happy and Happy

I sort of resolve the issues between papa and me.

Hopefully, when i have $,
i will cut my hair and dye again.
i will buy some books related to business.
i will buy some skin care products...I think i need to take better care of my skin. The skin condition will start to detoriate on 20 onwards.
I will save $$$.
Up till now, i have 2k plus. I wanna reach 5k asap.=>

GO FOR MY DREAMS!

mmm...inner fats

This is about a date when my mum went to JB.
No restrictions~so i just ask porkchop out to study.
I am starting to learn a lot of japanese language, hopefully i can speak rather well after this end of the year.=>
Then...his sis wanted us to go to Changi to study. So far? I want to go shopping after studying...
Her sis seems so enthu tt i canot turn it down. When i realised tt her sis want him to go to Changi to meet the marketing distributor. I become so Sianz...-.-ZZZ.
When i went to Yishun, i show him a very unhappy look. Then he turn down his sis about the trip to Changi cause he wanted to study only.
Her sis dun ook happy well...
Later i started to realise something abt the reason.(i think i am the hindrance in the later time of the day)
When we finished studying(me and porkchop), her sis want to meet us for dinner.
We went to a jap resturant tt her sis recommend to us. The food is nice...=>
They ordered a set meal but i just ordered a plate of beef.
I dun remember what exactly we had talked abt but...
i asked something like "will you be full?"
then her sis said"you have the cheek to ask someone this q?"
Well...i just eat a plate of beef. -.- i dun wanna burn a pocket in his wallet. He got to pay the bill later. Somemore, he treated me NYDC just now...Haiz.
then porkchop defended me by saying tt i got small appetitite.
Then i kana shot by her tt i got pale because i look too fair. I should put blusher or make up etc.
Porchop just said tt my skin is good so i dun need to put any makeup. Her sis(do put makeup) retorted by saying tt makeup is to act as a shield to the skin~~~ I just sit on the fence.
Enjoying the beef~=> hehez.
She dun really say much things postive about me as far as concern. Maybe i am a person filled with flaws.
Actually, i do find her a nice person. She is very outspoken and confident girl.
Something totally different from her.
I rather hide myself than trying to put myself in the limelight.
But tt does not mean i feel inferior!!!!I feel tt each of us are different...no point pondering and wallow in self-pity.
I am starting to like the way i am. I dun feel 'competitiveness' when i am no longer in sch. I dun need to be stuck in a institution tt always will compare each other. I can be what i am i.
SLACKER, LAZY PIG, CHOCZ GLUTTON ...

one thing tt i am shocked to learn from porkchop is tt his sis dun like me in the first place.(i never know or feel it...) Then she change her view on me when i went to her marketing talk. i dun know why though. one thing tt makes me laugh is tt he told porkchop tt though i look slim but i am full of inner fats. haha. Very true...so now i am hitting gym.
Believe it or not....i think i lose 1 kg liao....tt time i went with xiu mei to gym, i am 46.6kg, then yesterday i am around 45.5kg.
I have tonnes of fats to burn...scary.
I am not trying hit 43kg but i feel tt i really need to burn bad fats and replenish my body with proper nutrients.
Time to take care of my health...!!!
This blog is a few day before i quarrel with porkchop.
I dun write things in sequence...paisei.

Life without working...

There is nil income but loads of expenses popping out from my wallet...
Gosh...i can spend my 1 mth savings in about 2-3weeks.
Hehez. It is GSS sales, so i think i went a bit out of control.
I think i got enough stuff from GSS.=>
Actually, a few days ago, i quarrelled with porkchop.
I am so angry tt i walk off from the date. I even skip that meeting with his amyway(network marketing) friends. I did not sms him the whole day, so do he.
Then today he sms me. Well, i think the anger within me did not really simmer down.
Sometimes, i find it hard to talk things to him.
He wants to buy a magnetic bed cover. I told him tt he should buy a new mattress. His house mattress quality is too soft so it is bad for his spine. Then, if he find tt his sleeping is still not tt good then he should buy tt cover.
SO MY POINT IS GET A PROPER MATTRESS FIRST THEN CONSIDER THE MAGNETIC COVER!
Then he seems to be so impatient about it and he plan to buy it on this week.
YOU THINK I LIKE TO BE ANGRY? IT IS NOT MY MONEY....I DUN GIVE A DAMN.
tt time, i dun really feel like talking much so i just keep silent. Then he started telling me tt merchants are viewed as low beings in the past.
Then i feel so angry...i did not look down on network marketing. When did i?
He is really missing the main points, so i walk so fast tt i keep him out of my sight.

Then i go and buy some food(chocz), and go home.

.
.
.
Started to feel so sianz about all the issues.
I am starting to feel like breaking up....but i think tt itis stupid to break out over a stupid magnetic cover. But it is tiring to quarrel over such similar issues.
TIRING!!!!!!
.
.
.
I need time to think...
Actually i am not a good girlfriend
maybe he deserves something better.
He is a really good guy and he is better off with someone else.
Haizzzz...
Such thoughts just descended on me out of sudden.
Haizzzz

Why is time so slow?

I met porkchop and his friend yesterday. I don't think it is an enjoyable date, because i don't really like his friend. (not towards the hate spectrum)
I find his fren is one who like to talk DDL(da diao li). He is like a philospher chanting out all inspiration words. (-.- hate to say tt but shut up!)
I had slipped from a staircase when going towards a bus-stop. Well, strangely, i dun feel any pain and i dun even give a damn. I continue to eat chocolate...i was holding it when i slipped. I guess my skin is so thick tt i dun give a damn to anything.
My mgmt teacher called me and asked me whether i am interesting to be a relief teacher in MI for mgmt of biz. Why not? I want to try new occupation for new experience. I told my female colleague(the girl who appear bitchy when i first know her...she is much nicer to me now) She did not look happy. Do i give a damn? I like this workplace but i had to pursuit my interest too.
I had to balance interest and responsibility...
My fav officer had left yesterday~ Haizzz...i will miss you, Mr Ng. Sob
I had try some brain test ...quite interesting.
Haizz...i still got some billings to do.
Someone help me....~~~